Feelings & emotions 1
Feelings
Own them!
Having and expressing your deeper feelings means being open and honest about your emotions.
It's important to understand and acknowledge how you truly feel, whether it's happiness, sadness, anger, or love.
Expressing your feelings allows for better communication and connection with others, leading to healthier relationships and personal growth.
Having and expressing feelings is crucial for our mental wellness as an individual and as a society.
When we share our deeper feelings with others, it helps us connect and show our vulnerability.
Feelings might look like:
compasion, empathy, regret, boredom,
hope, disappointment, shame, belonging, love,
contempt, connection, pride, hubris, humility
Emotions might look like:
Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression,
Guilt, Fear, Acceptance, Normalizing, Hope,
Re-invention, Processing grief, Embracing change
- Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024*
Words that express feelings;
Uneasy: Nervous, tense, anxious, frustrated, insecure, angry, cross, confused, bored, flat, apathetic, weak
Angry: Frustrated, cross, irritated, annoyed, furious, livid, enraged, hurt, inadequate, trapped, tired, scared
Frightened; Uneasy, weak, insecure, inadequate, tense, anxious, nervous, scared, petrified, threatened, trapped, horrified
Happy: Pleased, glad, wonderful, elated, excitement, content, surprised, proud, relieved, satisfied, confident
Negative: Distrustful, jealous, suspicious, scornful, disdain, bitter, stupid, shame, worthless
Positive: Determined, forgiving, hopeful, motivated, inspired, daring, energetic, loving, eager, excited, receptive, happy
Unhappy: Hurt, upset, lonely, guilty, miserable, bereft, despairing, devastated, lost, down, depressed
Confused: Hurt, upset, lonely, inadequate, cross, miserable, shocked, mixed-up, nervous, scared, discontented, foolish
Science has been trying to categorize emotions so we can understand it better, but it's still messy as the world of feelings makes its own rules regarding when and how they affect us humans.
*Under the Author Opinion in the next section are expressions of emotions that we as men often stereotype or attribute to being weak or soft or whatever. *
It does not always follow the same pattern or sequence but it does happen one way or another.
Still each one is powerful and affects all of us at some point.
Knowing what to expect or getting some clarity why you are feeling what you are feeling might help you understand the process.
Denying their existence in our lives does not make them go away.
We just hide them under other layers of pretense often expressed as anger or power etc.
We as humans often know deep down what needs to be done and what action needs to be taken.
When emotions are escalated then it is more difficult to find the right path to see things clearly.
When I faced the reality of my own crisis I found myself going through various emotions
I did not recognize it as separate emotions at that time, just a confusing mess of anger and frustrations.
Now looking back I can definitely recognize and identify some of the stuff I struggled through.
Internet: Author unknown
Unpacking what Feelings feel or look like;
Share what you felt, but not why yet.
Each of you is to take turns describing what you were feeling during the disagreement.
**You may either choose from the list below or come up with your own description. **
-Read aloud the items that were true for you during the disagreement.
-Remember to keep your comments simple and keep to the format “I felt...”- avoiding statements such as, “I felt like you...”.
-Do not comment on your partner or or colleague’s feelings.
Give a name to what you each felt and then explore what is buried underneath those feelings.
Defensive, Not listened to,
Feelings got hurt, Totally flooded,
Angry, Sad, Unloved,
Misunderstood, Criticized,
Took a complaint personally,
Not cared about, Worried,
Afraid, Unsafe, Tense,
I was right and you were wrong,
Both of us were partly right,
Out of control, Frustrated,
Morally justified, Disliked,
Unfairly picked on, Stupid,
Unappreciated, Unattractive,
Morally outraged, Not calm,
Taken for granted, Stubborn,
Like leaving, I wanted to win,
Like staying and talking this through
Overwhelmed with emotion,
Powerless, I had no influence,
My opinions didn’t even matter,
There was a lot of give and take,
I had no feelings at all, Lonely,
I had no idea what I was feeling,
Alienated, Ashamed, Guilty,
Culpable, Abandoned, Disloyal,
Exhausted, Foolish, Tired,
Overwhelmed, Remorseful,
Shocked, Other feelings…
Book: Why has nobody told me this before? By Dr Julie Smith 2022 - On Emotional Pain
11. What to do with emotions - Feelings Topic
Summary:
You are not your feelings and your feelings are not who you are.
The sensation of emotion is an experience that moves through you.
Each emotion can offer you information but not necessarily the whole story.
If there is something, give it a name. Try to label emotions with more detail than just happy or sad.
Allow emotions to present and soothe your way through, rather than blocking them out.
**12. How to harness the power of your words - Feelings Topic **
Summary:
The language we use has a powerful effect on our experience of the world.
The more words you have to describe how you feel, the better.
If you don't have the words you can use something like the Feeling Wheel to give you prompts.
Notice the words others use, read books and explore the ways you can keep building your emotional vocabulary.
13. How to support someone Go To: Authors Opinion Compassion Topic
Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024 Addapted from: David D Burns MD 1989
Feelings Word Chart
Depression
Depressed, sad, blue, hurt, down, disappointed, lost, unhappy, despairing, dejected, disheartened, low, miserable
Guilty, ashamed, at fault, bad, responsible
Hopeless, discouraged, pessimistic, desperate, defeated
Inferior, inadequate, useless, worthless, undesirable, flawed, incompetent, second-rate, defective Tired, exhausted, drained, weary, worn out, fatigued, lethargic, sleepy, wiped out
Unmotivated, uninterested, bored, turned off, burdened
Lonely, abandoned, unwanted, alone, isolated, lonesome, friendless
Anxiety
Anxious, worried, apprehensive, panicky, afraid, uptight, fateful, scared, tense, frightened, nervous, terrified, alarmed
Shy, foolish, humiliated, self-conscious, mortified, flustered, embarrassed, awkward, timid
Stressed, overworked, pressured, burned out, strained, tense, besieged, frazzled, overwhelmed
Anger
Angry, mad, resentful, upset, irritated, furious, ticked off, incensed, enraged, irate, annoyed, aggravated
Criticized, picked on, blamed, put down, intimidated, insulted, defensive, judged, condemned
Frustrated, stuck, thwarted, stymied
Jealousy, envious, mistrustful, suspicious, paranoid
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This website is for information only. It represents the unproven opinions / thoughts of various authors or collaborating partners.
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Updated: November 2023
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