Feelings & emotions 1

Empathy

Emotional connection

Your opinion matters
Your opinion matters
Web Wisdom

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It's essential for our mental wellness because it helps us connect emotionally with people.

Then we can better support each other during challenges.

It deepens our relationships and makes us feel more connected and cared for, which is good for our mental health and emotional well-being.

Your Toolbox

Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024 Adapted from David D Burns MD 1991

Five secrets of effective communication:

Empathy:

Find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems totally unreasonable or unfair.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to see the world through their eyes.

Paraphrase the other person’s words

Acknowledge how the other person is probably feeling, based on what she or he said.

Ask gentle , probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling.

Assertiveness:

Express your own ideas and feelings in a direct, tactful manner. Use “I feel” statements, such as”I feel upset” rather than “you” statements , such as “You’re wrong!” or “You’re making me furious!”

Respect:

Convey an attitude of respect, even if you feel frustrated or angry with the other person. Find something genuinely positive to say to the other person, even in the heat of the battle.

Author's Opinion 3

Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024 Adapted from Jane Katz J&Z Consulting Ltd

Respectful responses

If your partner brings up your past behavior:

-This is what I did (take responsibility)

-This is how I think it affected you (Empathy)

-It makes sense that you feel that way (Respect)

-What could I do right now that would be helpful? (Bring it back to the present)

If your partner is bringing up a lot of topics:

-It sounds like there is a lot on your mind (Empathy)

-It’s important to talk about all of them (Respect)

-It would be easier to solve if we could talk about them one at a time (Assertiveness)

-which one would you like to talk about first? (Bring back a focus)

If your partner is swearing at you and calling you names:

-I know you are upset and there is something important you are trying to tell me. (Empathy) (Or … it sounds like you are saying - paraphrase)

-It is really difficult to listen when I am being yelled at or sworn at (Assertiveness)

-It would be helpful if you can tell me this again without yelling or swearing (Assertiveness)

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Updated: November 2023

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