Our Struggles

Emotional Pain

Finding the roots

Your opinion matters
Your opinion matters
Web Wisdom

Emotional pain is like an alarm telling us something isn’t right. We might try to ignore it by staying busy with work, sports, or using things like alcohol, but we can also use it as a chance to grow and make things better.

Sometimes, time helps us feel better on its own, but other times the pain can be so strong that we need to figure out what’s causing it.

The pain we feel now might come from things that happened in the past or be part of patterns we’ve developed over time.

Looking at the past and understanding why we feel or act the way we do can help us break free from emotional traps. Remember, pain can be a gift that shows us where we need to do some work to heal.

130

PeaceBuilders Opinion 1

There’s a saying: “Find the pain and you will find the cure.”

This sounds simple, but it’s not always easy. Pain is often hidden deep inside because of all the stuff we go through in life.

Sometimes, the latest problem or event makes us realize something is wrong, but it’s usually not just one thing. It’s a bunch of past struggles that have built up over time.

We might ignore little pains along the way, but they keep adding up and eventually become a huge pile of emotional hurt. Finding where the pain started can help us heal and feel better, but it takes time and understanding.

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Author's Opinion

Book: Why has nobody told me this before? By Dr Julie Smith 2022 On Dark Places

2. Mood pitfalls to watch out for - Emotional Pain Topic

Fig 3. The vicious cycle of instant relief. Adapted from the work of Isabel Clark (2017)

Summary:

Thought bias is inevitable but we are not helpless to its effects.

We naturally look for evidence that confirms our beliefs. We then experience what we believe, even when there is evidence to suggest otherwise.

Whatever has caused our low mood , tends to come along with focus on threat or loss.

This bias towards the negative can then feed back to intensify the low mood if we continue to focus on and believe those thoughts to be facts.

One strategy against the downward spiral this can cause is understanding that how we feel is not evidence that our thoughts are true.

Another strategy is taking a stance of curiosity.

Get some distance from those thoughts by becoming familiar with common biases, noticing when they appear and labeling them as biases, not facts.

3. Things that help Go to Author Opinion 1 ; Power Topic

Book: Why has nobody told me this before? By Dr Julie Smith 2022 On Emotional Pain

10. Make it all go away! Emotional Pain Topic

Summary:

Emotions are neither your enemy nor your friend.

We have more influence over our emotional state than we were ever taught to believe.

Pushing emotions away can cause more problems than allowing it to wash over us and take its natural course.

Emotions are not facts but one possible perspective.

If there are painful emotions, get curious, ask questions. What can they tell you?

11. What to do with emotions Go To: Authors Opinion - Feelings Topic

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Updated: November 2023

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