Communication :: PeaceBuilders Network

Communication

Builds connection

Your opinion matters

Love

Web Wisdom

Conversation is about talking and sharing what matters to you.

It’s about connecting with others, talking about the things that are important to you, and feeling understood.

It’s nice to feel heard and accepted for who you are, with your own thoughts and feelings. This is called being validated, which means people care about you.

Good conversations are full of kindness, empathy, and respect. You listen to each other, and you speak in ways that lift each other up, not bring each other down.

Even when life is tough, talking to someone who understands can make you feel lighter, happier, and more supported. It’s about giving and receiving words that make life better for both people.

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Your Toolbox 1

Communication Skills:

Respect: Treating others with consideration and honor.

Empathy: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others.

Caring: Showing kindness and concern for others.

Listening: Paying attention and actively hearing what others say.

Paraphrasing: Restating what someone has said to show understanding.

Perception Checking: Clarifying to ensure you understand the other person correctly.

Behavior Description: Describing specific actions without judgment.

'I' Messages: Expressing your feelings and needs without blaming others.

Communication Styles:

Passive Communication: Avoiding expressing your thoughts and feelings, often leading to being overlooked.

Assertive Communication: Confidently expressing your thoughts and feelings while respecting others.

Aggressive Communication: Dominating and disrespecting others, often leading to conflict.

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Your Toolbox 2

Four Things to Think About Before You Speak:

1. Is It True?

My Truth: Is this true for me?

Scientific Truth: Is it a fact?

Her Truth: Is it true for the other person?

Emotional Truth: Is it how we both feel?

Our Truth: Is it true for both of us?

2. Is It Useful?

For Both: Is it important for both of us to know?

For Her: Is it something she really needs to know?

3. Is It Timely?

Now or Later: Is now the best time?

Calmer Moments: Should I wait for a calmer time?

Private Time: Should I wait until it’s just us?

4. Is It Wise?

Motive: Why am I saying this?

Self-Awareness: Do I know all the facts?

Impact: Will it hurt or help?

Think before you speak, especially in tricky situations.

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Podcast & Youtube Links

Podcast: Dr Vivek Murthy Get to know yourself www.drchatterjee.com/114

How miscommunication happens and how to avoid it

https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy84OGE5MDA4Yy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw/episode/Y2E2NTc1NzAtMDEwNS00ZDU0LTllYTQtYThkZTZhZDllZjM5?sa=X&ved=0CAgQuIEEahcKEwjQl_2d2tKEAxUAAAAAHQAAAAAQRA

PeaceBuilders Opinion 1

Talking in a Kind and Clear Way

How to Speak Well:

Be Clear: Say what you mean so others understand.

Be Respectful: Use a calm voice and kind words, like how you’d want to be spoken to.

Stick to the Point: Don’t mix messages—be consistent.

Check Understanding: Ask if the other person understands you.

Use “I” Messages: Share how you feel without blaming others.

What Are “I” Messages?

When to Use: Great for disagreements or emotional moments.

Why They Work: They explain your feelings without making others feel bad.

Examples: Instead of “You never listen!” ➔ “I feel frustrated when I’m not heard.”

Instead of “You’re lazy!” ➔ “I was upset seeing the kitchen messy.”

Why Avoid Blame:

Blaming words make people defensive and can hurt feelings. Talking kindly helps build trust and better friendships.

Respectful, caring communication is key to building better relationships.

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Author's Opinion 1

Book: Happy Mind Happy Life Dr Rangan Chatterjee 2022

No one fully listens until you’re connected. By connecting you create space for empathy.

In her wonderful book Reclaiming Conversation: The power to talk in a digital age, Sherry Turkle writes that “empathy is not merely about giving someone information or helping them find a support group.

It is about convincing another person that you are there for the duration. Empathy means staying long enough for someone to believe that you want to know how they feel, not that you want to tell them what to do in their circumstances.

Empathy requires time and emotional discipline”.

When you are listening fully, and being truly empathetic, you become humbled.

You often realize that. Actually, you don't know how the other person is feeling.

This is why it is crucial to be attentive, patient and caring.

**Understand that being vulnerable is your superpower. And don't be afraid. **

Make time for regular catch-ups with people you feel close to and people who will hear and see you.

Be someone else’s miracle by creating a safe space for others to take off their “masks” with you.

**Taking off our masks is about trust, connection and love. **

Something powerful happens when we are properly listened to and valued.

Author's Opinion 2

Good Communication:

Importance: Essential for healthy relationships.

Clarify and Speak Openly: Ask for clarification if unsure and communicate honestly to avoid misunderstandings.

Express Feelings: Don’t bottle up feelings out of fear; it's important to share them.

Take Your Time: If you need time to think, let your partner know. A supportive partner will respect this.

Use Humor Wisely: Humor can enhance communication but should never be hurtful or used to make a point.

Your Opinion Matters

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Updated: November 2023